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“I Hate My Engagement Ring”: What to Do If it’s Just Not Your Style

Take these 5 steps to right the ring. 

When a groom-to-be goes shopping for an engagement ring by himself, there’s a good chance he might not pick the ideal ring for his partner; in fact, he may spend a big chunk of change on a ring that is totally incongruent with his girlfriend’s style.

Although it’s always a good idea to discuss what kind of ring you like at some point (or at least drop some hints on Pinterest!), sometimes things don’t work out the way you imagined. Here are some steps you can take so you can start to address this situation with your future spouse:

1. Take Things Slowly

Even if you swear that you hate your ring, it might just take some getting used to. Yes, it may not be your ideal engagement ring, and it may not be in your favorite style, but do you notice that it has some beautiful qualities? Do your friends and family love it? Did it take a lot of creativity and effort on your fiancé’s part to craft it with a custom jeweler?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, maybe it’s best to let it sit for a few days and see if it grows on you. Who knows; once you get over the initial shock of it not being your dream engagement ring, maybe you’ll find it actually is a really good fit for you!

2. Break it to Him Softly

Either way, if you do plan on telling him you don’t like your ring, you’ll still want to wait it out for a few days. Your beloved fiancé just put all that effort into proposing, so wait until the excitement cools down a bit before you bring up the topic. When you’re ready and you’re both in a good mood, you can gently explain that it’s not your ideal engagement ring.

Definitely be careful with the phrasing; you don’t want to blurt out "I hate my engagement ring", especially if he went out of his way to find something unique. And you definitely want to make sure he knows that “returning the engagement ring” means just that, and not that you’re breaking off the engagement!

Woman Having Discussion with Her Boyfriend About the Ring

3. Assess Your Options

It’s important to work with your fiancé to make sure the issue is resolved smoothly and easily, and, if you’re on a budget, with as little additional cost as possible. Ask him if there’s a return or exchange policy for the ring. It’s also a good idea to learn how much it costs. If it was relatively inexpensive, it might be a bit easier asking him to invest a little more in improving the ring.

4. Upgrade the Engagement Ring

There are a lot of different options when it comes to changing your ring design. It might be ideal to work with the jeweler who crafted the original engagement ring, but if that’s not an option you can always find a custom jewelry studio that can upgrade your design.

If he chose an amethyst, but you hate purple and really wanted a traditional diamond ring, the jeweler can replace the stone. Alternatively, if you love the stone but don’t like the shank or setting, they can craft a new band to hold your beautiful gem. It’s relatively easy to bend the prongs and remove the center stone without damage. Of course, if you and your fiancé have the funds, you can always choose an entirely new ring together.

Jeweler Manufacturing a Ring

5. Love The Ring You’re With

Let’s say you’ve discussed with your fiancé and your options are limited. Maybe there was no return/exchange policy with the ring, and you can’t afford to upgrade to a new one. If that’s the case, it might be best to wait until you have the money to invest in your ideal ring (perhaps for your 1 or 2 year anniversary!)

The most important thing to recognize is that your engagement ring represents your partner’s love and care for you. Even if it’s not the best ring in your mind, you can always appreciate the thought and effort that went into his choice. You never know; maybe one day you’ll love the ring after all!

Fiancée Showing Off Her Beautiful Engagement Ring

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